(April 3, 2014) I am my mother’s daughter. I never knew anything other than a life surrounded by serious mental illness. My mother was seriously mentally ill from as far back as I can remember.
Growing up in our family was like living in a combat zone. It never felt safe because you didn’t know when the other boot was going to drop. The drastic mood changes, intense paranoia, grandiose ideas, impulsivity, delusions, depression and anger created a frightening environment for a child who depended on her. This led to emotion and physical neglect, as well as emotional, verbal and at times, physical abuse. And yet I loved my mother. I watched as my father, and later my siblings and I, were powerless to help her.
My mother had zero insight into her illness. She did not believe she was ill. We call that anosognosia. It affects up to 40% of those with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Because she didn’t believe she was ill, she would not stay in treatment and as a result could not take care of herself, let alone, me.
She had suicidal ideation, delusions I was possessed, multiple hospitalizations and would disappear for spells at a time…sometimes hours, sometimes weeks and we were powerless to do anything but watch her deteriorate.
I believe in self-determination for those who are capable but we must recognize that there is a small group of people, like my mother, who are too ill to self-direct their own care. We can’t pretend these people don’t exist because by doing so, we marginalize them. They are our loved ones. They cower in their rooms believing an FBI planted a transmitter in their heads. They refuse to eat for fear of being poisoned.
The mental health system won’t help them because they are not well enough to volunteer for treatment.
SYLVIA THOMPSON
PRESIDENT OF NAMI WEST SIDE LOS ANGELES
Read Sylvia Thomson’s full testimony to Congress on H.R. 3717
Lawmakers, patient advocates and family members and people living with psychiatric diseases heard testimony today on Representative Tim Murphy’s Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act. Read all testimonies from today’s hearing. With more than a dozen democratic co-sponsors in the house, the bill has broad bipartisan support.
To comment, visit our Facebook page.
Visit our blog archive to read all our recent posts.