(May 17, 2013) I have two boys, both are adults and both suffer from severe mental illness. But one has accepted treatment and turned his life around while my other son has refused treatment and continues to live on the streets.
My youngest son is in his forties and finally accepts treatment. He is now on highly effective medication, receives therapy and is no longer homeless. I worked for 10 years to get him the help he needed.
Those ten years were the most difficult of my life. I wasn't able to sleep through the night and each time I woke all I could think of was my son and what I needed to do to get him the treatment he needed. He was in his own world. He was incoherent, paranoid and unable to sleep through the night and walked aimlessly through his childhood neighborhood. He lived on the streets.
Finally, after years of phone calls and attempts to get my son into treatment, he was taken to the psychiatric hospital where he was diagnosed and given medication. At this time my son was in denial about his illness and didn't want treatment nor did he want anything to do with me. I was the enemy who wanted him locked up, as far as he was concerned. He spent three years in a facility, following which we worked with social services to find him a place to live.
He has been living there over three years now and we have rebuilt our relationship, thanks to the medication and treatment he is receiving. He regularly visits me and we speak by phone frequently - he is no longer suffering. He is happy again and I have my son back. Thanks to treatment, he's a helpful and compassionate human being with a positive outlook on life.
But we are not a complete family yet. My oldest son is nearly fifty years old and also suffers from severe mental illness. Like his younger brother, he also does not believe he is sick. But unlike his younger brother, he has never been treated or diagnosed and is now homeless after living on the fringes of society for most of his adult life.
While I've contacted crisis and mental health agencies in the town he is in, they cannot provide me with information. It's so difficult, when you feel your hands are tied due laws preventing family members from obtaining information about adult children. I pray for him and hope he will someday get treatment and we will once again be a complete family.
My children have suffered immensely because of the way our system abandons people with severe mental illness. I want to live country where that treats everyone with dignity and laws don’t prevent people from getting the help they need.
We all suffer, when just one person is suffering.
Barbara Williams is the mother of two men with severe mental illness.
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