(April 19, 2013) Dear E. Fuller Torrey, A friend of mine recently wrote to me to say that she read your book, The Insanity Offense: How America’s failure to treat the seriously mentally ill endangers its citizens. She also informed me that my name and offense were in your book. This came as quite a surprise to me because I’m a clerk in the prison library (for nearly seven years) and did not know this, even though this book is in the place at which I work. So, I thought I should read the book before I wrote you, at the suggestion of my supervisor to share my thoughts about the heart breaking issues in your book (mine included).
In retrospect, I agree with you. My own journey and struggle with mental illness has brought me to this point. However, it wasn’t always so.
For years I denied I had an illness and refused to take medication because I believed it was poison and people were trying to kill me. I even believed my own family was part of this imagined conspiracy. I know full well this deadly disease and how untreated lead to my son’s death.
Even after my arrest and subsequent conviction, I was still in denial. In my mind, it was all a grand scheme to assassinate my character. I know was not the case and here is why.
In your book, The Insanity Offense, you advocate the need for forced treatment for those individuals who pose the greatest threat to themselves and others, people like myself. During my incarceration, my sanity (or lack thereof) slipped from me, forcing the institution to transfer me to the state hospital for treatment. It was there that I received the proper care in the form of medication, psychotherapy and something else that your book did not mention, education about my illness.
I was taught in groups that I have a clinical illness, the same as if I had diabetes and needed insulin to survive. I now have acceptance of my illness because I’ve been educated about it. However, I know that this great epiphany could not have occurred had I not been stabilized on medication.
The conscious choice to take meds comes from knowing about the illness and finally acceptance that I have this disease. Now, I wouldn’t stop taking meds for any reason. I understand now.
I guess the reason I’m writing you is to let you know that there is hope. Some of us with mental illness get it. We can move forward to live full and healthy lives while maintaining the safety of those around us.
I feel that once an individual (such as myself) has education about their illness and understands what they are dealing with, this ultimately leads to acceptance. I feel this is how the mentally ill can become medication compliant even if at first they are forced.
I would like to wish you well in your crusade to bring awareness to society about this crippling issue in our nation. May you someday be granted vindication for all your hard work.
Respectfully,
Naomi Gaines
Naomi Gaines is an inmate in Minnesota.
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